From the Archives – Unspoken Rules

Originally posted on Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest on 5-23-2007.

Sarcastic Boy and I went to Babies R Xpensive and Wally World today and I think I broke an unspoken rule amongst mommies…
I was looking for a new bathtub for tubby cause he’s more or less grown out of his current tub. It’s a big pain-o to bathe him cause he’s too big, and our sink doesn’t hold water. I was looking for one that I’ve seen in catalogs that looks like a mini baby pool that fits inside regular tubs. No find. I was also looking again for baby dishes and stuff. No find. BUT, the rug that goes with his room stuff was on sale, so I used the rest of my birthday money and bought it! wahoo! It’ll arive in one to two weeks. Then we went to wallyworld (walmart for those of you who don’t know) which is right next door to babies r expensive. That’s where I broke that rule. We just looked around, I got a veggie scrubber and a new veggie peeler and a weight scale to weight my fat ass. We looked at their bath stuff and feeding dishes and clothes. Then I broke the rule. When tubby and I were in the baby section we ran into a girl about my age with a baby and she had tons o stuff in her cart. Mostly baby food. She’s the one I broke the rule with. Her baby was in her carseat that she had set on top of the cart. Which, according to manufactures you’re not supposed to do that cause it’s unsafe. I’ve done it once, for convenience when we went to Target. Most of the time I just push tubby in the stroller and carry a hand basket. Then I don’t buy too much and nothing big. Then we got bored and hungry so we went to check out. The girl with the baby in the carseat and tons of baby food stood behind us. When we were checking out she was piling on (and i mean piling) on the baby food. She asked me how old brady was. I said “4 and a half months” and smiled. Then I broke the rule. She said brady was a “big one” and so was her daughter. I commented on how much baby food she was buying. I said “that’s a LOT of baby food”, she said she knew, laughed and said her daughter ate two or three of them a day. I had already broken the rule. She said the baby food was on sale “two for a dollar”. I was very proud and excited to tell her that “I’m going to make my own baby food”. But I told her I should have bought some baby food myself. She said “she liked making her own baby food too, when she has time”. Then I rang out, wished her a good day and left. But. She seemed miffed about something…I thought,”What have I done?” That’s when I realized that I broke the unspoken rule amongst mommies…
if someone comments on how cute your kid is, you have to comment on the cuteness of their kid too.
I didn’t even look at her kid. Or ask her how old she was. All I did was brag about how I’m going to make my own baby food, while she was buying hers. Whoops! There goes my chance of making a friend with a baby…

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So Cal Lady Bloggers Romantic Progressive Dinner

How yummy did those steaks sound from the Gonzo Gourmet? So delish right? Thanks for following along on the So Cal Lady Blogger Progressive dinner. If you want to start over from the beginning, click here. Otherwise, let’s go!

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If there’s one thing my life is missing and I’m not afraid to say it: it’s romance. So when the So Cal Lady Bloggers; an online Southern California bloggers group announced an opportunity to take part in a super fun blogging round-up of a romantic themed progressive dinner, I jumped at the chance. An opportunity to join amazing fellow bloggers and learn  how to cook “romantically”? Heck yes!
I was very indecisive about what to cook exactly. Should I go with something original? Should I go with something my family adores but isn’t the most colorful and pretty? Should I go with something fancy and pretend that I’m some sort of foodie? I widdled down my decisions between bacon wrapped scallops with steamed vegetables, slow-roasted chicken or a chicken pasta dish. I went with the Chicken Pasta. Why? Because I’ve never cooked scallops in my life and I wasn’t going to try so hard to impress you. I’m not kidding! haha
Of course, I’m no gourmet chef over here. I’m more like a “Semi-Homemade” kind of mom and cook actually, if I were to have a name handle I would be the @SemiHomeMadeMom for sure. I like cooking nutritious and healthy meals for my family, but I don’t like to spend a lot of time doing it. So I cut corners and use pre-made items like most modern moms do. And that is precisely what I have done with this dinner recipe. I chose this Creamy Chicken Florentine recipe in particular because it can be served “family style”, it is pretty and it is super tasty.

Anyway, without further ado here is my recipe (that has been adapted from the Philly Cooking Creme recipe):

Creamy Chicken Florentine

Ingredients:
2 Chicken Breasts cut into small bite sized strips
1 red pepper cut into strips
1 bunch of spinach leaves, washed well and pat dry
1 lb (box) of Cellentani pasta cooked
10 oz  Philadelphia Cooking Creme-Savory Garlic (this is the semi-homemade part)

Directions:
Cook the chicken in a skillet until done. I added a little bit of garlic butter (thanks to Papa Johns from the night before) to grease it up a little bit. Add sliced red pepper strips and cook until desired tenderness.
Add cooking creme
Push chicken and red pepper mixture aside and add spinach (and more garlic butter) and cook until soft
Add pasta
Serve warm and enjoy!

Red Pepper Strips

Adding the red pepper strips to the chicken

Cooked chicken, red peppers and spinach

Philly cooking creme, available at any grocery store

added creme to the skillet mix

ready to eat!

And what’s next in line  in this Romantic Progressive Dinner you ask? Why, Dessert of course! Please log on HERE to see Tonya Stabbs’s Baked Mini Cheesecakes, which look absolutely ahhmazing! Have you seen her food photography? Holey Moley man! She’s fantastic!

“Confessions Friday” – Julie Ordonez from Inland Empire Family

Julie Ordonez is a really good friend of mine that I am lucky enough to have the pleasure of hanging out with in real life on occasion. I was honored when she agreed to write a “Confessions Friday” post for me. Julie blogs at Inland Empire Family as Skinny Jeans Mom and has been published many times in print. She is smart, she is super sweet and she is completely down to earth. And her son? Is totally adorable.

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This confessions post is about something all moms relate to, struggle with, and have experienced. It’s more than just mom guilt; it’s about how in some ways, in many ways, I feel inadequate as a mom, and how I always wish I could do more.

“What a Good Mom Would Do”

I love you and I’m sorry.

I say this to him as I stroke his dark brown hair, his cherub cheek turned to the side as he lay sleeping soundly, innocently, dreaming, as I stand over him, disturbed and pained.

I tell him I’m sorry and that I’m trying my best.

Every single day when I hear the alarm blaring at me at 5 a.m. and I jump up to begin my day, I tell myself to stay on track. I only have so much time to shower, dress, eat, and somewhat fix my hair as I also balance this with getting you up, diaper-changed, teeth-brushed, dressed, and fed before we have to leave. Before I even have enough time to catch my breath I look over and somehow it’s now 7:45. Shit! I think. It can’t be! I silently curse myself as we’re running behind yet again. I need to get up earlier, I think to myself. I NEED to get up earlier. I need to get up earlier so I’ll have more time to get everything done and not be in such a rush. So I can at least spend a few more precious minutes with you. Watch morning cartoons with you. Make a more nutritious breakfast.

 Like a good mom would do.

Instead I feel guilty for feeling like I somewhat ignore you by plopping you in front of the TV. to keep you entertained as I scurry around like a frantic hamster, constantly turning the wheel but never really getting anywhere.

If I wake up any earlier, however, I’ll be cutting into the 5 hours max of sleep I already get. Some mornings I hear the alarm go off earlier but I’m so exhausted that I physically cannot force myself to get up, so I sleep 15 minutes more, which of course sets me back and thus kicks off my usual frantic morning routine.

Okay then, I say to myself. I’ll just go to bed earlier. So I try to do so, but this means that I also must condense my evening routine. From the moment I get home, I’m greeted with hugs and then the onslaught of dinner, dishes, laundry, bills, general cleaning, and my side work. But I can’t get to any of it until after you go to bed, because you’re in such a needy stage right now (which is in no way your fault and completely normal), that I can hardly use the restroom without wails and crocodile tears on the other side of the door.

I momentarily become frustrated that you are so clingy right now, and think of how much faster things would get done if you just gave me a little space. Then maybe I could get dinner done by 6 p.m., so by 6:45-7pm dinner would be over, dishes and cleanup would be done by 7:30pm, I can spend time with you for a bit, then bath, jammies, book, and you will be in bed by 8:30-8:45pm. Then maybe I can squeeze in 15 minutes of TV watching for me, after which I can tackle my side work, bills, housekeeping, prepare my lunch and your things for day care tomorrow, and be in bed by 11 p.m.

I say this to myself to console my feelings of guilt and inadequacy, and temporarily fool myself into thinking it’ll come true.

But I can’t bear to say no to your little face when you plead with me to play with you longer, big brown eyes of adoration and love staring at the mess of a mom I feel, and I feel massively shamed and guilty for ever getting frustrated at you. So, ignoring the pile of laundry that’s been sitting for days, I play a little more, and before I know it it’s 8:30 p.m.; no cleanup, dishes, bath time, book, jammies, lunches, or things ready yet for tomorrow. So I fall behind. Again. Which means I’ll be late to bed again. Which means I’ll only get 5 hours of sleep. Max.

And while I love every waking moment with you, I’m head-above-water drowning, yet still doing my best to stay ahead, something which I also do for you.

I want to be and do everything for you. I want to spend more quality time with you, read to you, sing to you, educate you, have a sparkling clean house for you, and have hot, nutritious food on the table for you. I want to learn to sew on buttons for you. I want to know how to whip up fresh-baked cookies from practically nothing. I want to be able to get the errands done, housework done, my work done, meet your every need, and still be able to have a little downtime for myself. I want to be the mom you deserve, the one who spends hours playing with you, and makes sure you have everything you need and more. Because you deserve for me to be that for you.

Because that’s what a good mom would do.

I want to be there to watch you learn things, I want to watch you get excited when Elmo comes on at 9 a.m. rather than be at work., I want to take you to the park and watch you play, and I want to take you on play dates, but as a working mom I’m still trying to figure out how I can possibly do all that while being able to provide for you, and not lose sight of my own goals or dreams.

I try to keep myself from breaking down into a torrent of tears as the knife in my heart digs a little deeper every time I see your  face as I drive away to work, and I hear you say, “bye bye momma”.

I don’t want to leave you! I think to myself. But it’s for you that I have to leave. I have to provide for you, make sure you have a place to live and clothes to wear. Help your dad out. Make sure you have what we never did and always wished for.

I try with every ounce of my being to provide you with all the basic needs, luxuries, and love that I possibly can, without feeling like I’m always one step behind.

But still, on nights like this when everything falls behind, when the dishes stack high and the laundry takes over the room and I frantically get as much as I can done without having to put you to bed any later than I already am, I feel like I’ve failed you, at least for tonight, and I vow to try harder tomorrow.

Somehow, I don’t know how, but somehow I’ll reach down further to spend more time with you, make a better dinner, have more clean laundry done, and have the dishes put away the same night they’ve been used.  I’ll work harder to provide everything I can for you, because you deserve it and that’s what a good mom would do.

But for today:

I love you and I’m sorry. 

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When I read Julie’s “Confessions Friday” post I honestly welled up with tears. It is so beautifully written and so honest. I can’t even tell you how many times I have entertained the idea of going back to work, just so I could “get a break” from the doldrums of staying home, resenting the fact that I have to stare at my kids all day long. I guess the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side” is true. So true.

“Confessions Friday” is a series that is all about getting that nagging guilt off your chest whether it be a doosey or something small for the purpose of relating to one another without judgement or criticism. We’re all moms and for Cheese sake we’re not perfect.

If you would like to confess something  Email me at: DesireeEaglin@aol.com

Wordless Wednesday from the Archives. The “do not call social services on me, he did this to himself” Edition.

This oldie but goodie was originally published on September 17, 2008. Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest readers loved it then and I bet you’ll love it now too. He was only 20 months old then, about the age of Funny girl now. Seems like ages ago…

Finding Nemo in 3D is coming to you this Fall!

I love watching movies, and I adore watching entertaining, energetic and thoughtful movies with my children. One of my favorite Pixar Animation Studios film is “Finding Nemo” there is just something about that worry-wort helicopter dad (Marlin who’s voice is played by Albert Brooks) that just gets to me every time I watch it. If you’re a fan like I am, you will be pleased to hear that Disney is re-releasing “Finding Nemo” on September 14, 2012 in Digital 3D. That’s right! Now our favorite Finding Nemo characters will come to life like never before!

Below is the movie trailer for the new Finding Nemo in 3D:

You bet that my children and I will be first in line at the theater to see the 3D version of Finding Nemo!


“The Winter of the Whale” – Whale Watching with the Aquarium of the Pacific

Credit: Desiree Eaglin

Recently, I went on an a high-speed catamaran whale watching trip with The Aquarium of the Pacific on behalf of DayTrippingMom…

“A record number of the endangered Fin Whales have been spotted in our California coast waters this winter. Last month alone, over 45 sightings of Fin Whales were spotted. Larger than normal amounts of Orca’s or “Killer Whales” have been seen too. Not to be outdone, the Grey Whale is also being seen in record numbers, sightings are the highest in 28 years according to the American Cetacean Society. So far, there does not seem to be a clear understanding as to why there have been record amounts…’

To continue reading please log on here

 

 

 

 

“Confessions Friday” Aracely Worley from DayTrippingMom

Today’s “Confessions Friday” comes from my #1 blogger Gal Pal, my partner in crime in which we will conquer the world…one daytrip at a time. The one, the only: Aracely Worley from DayTrippingMom.

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I have a little secret that I don’t really like to talk about, but since Desiree invited me to share something on her “Confessions Friday” series, I think it will be the perfect opportunity to get it off my chest.

I am obsessed with reality television

I like quality programming. I watch PBS, Law and Order and 60 minutes. I enjoy it, but not the way I enjoy reality television. Why do I love it?

It’s trashy, goes for the lowest common denominator and I can’t seem to get enough of it.

I have a problem. I admit it.  I’m addicted to crap television, in particular the Real Housewives Franchise on Bravo. I watch every single city spin off of the franchise (Yes, including the somewhat dull Miami) and you can say that I am obsessed. So obsessed, in fact, that my almost seven-year-old daughter knows the name of every housewife of Orange County and happens to have a favorite housewife: Vicky.

How bad is my obsession? I watch every episode. I re watch the episodes the next day after the original episode has aired. I can’t go to bed at night without heading to Stoopidhousewies.com or RealityTea.com and pretty much reading every post and comment that has to anything remotely to do with the housewives. When I say I can’t go to sleep without reading my boards, I mean I literally and physically cannot go to sleep without getting some form of Real Housewives kick.

It is a full-blown addiction.

Truth be told my life and my friend’s lives are a stark contrast from the shows. Like so stark, it’s black and white.
My friends? Are smart, do amazing things and try to make the world an amazing place.
The housewives? Um, not so much.
Their lives revolve around petty drama and making mountains out of molehills…and yet, I still watch.
I like to excuse my television habits and like to think of my Real Housewife addiction as a modern day version of a soap opera or a telenovela. It’s a little escapism in the very busy life that I live

and who can blame a gal for wanting a little escapism right? 

 

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“Confessions Friday” is a series that is all about getting that nagging guilt off your chest whether it be a doosey or something small for the purpose of relating to one another without judgement or criticism. We’re all moms and for Cheese sake we’re not perfect.

If you would like to confess something (and I mean who doesn’t?) Email me at: DesireeEaglin@aol.com

 

It’s all just too heavy

I’d like to think of myself as a good friend. Someone that can be there when a friend needs a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. I like to think of myself as ‘there’ when someone needs them the most…I like to think of myself as a strong person.

But apparently, I am not. 

I realized this for the first time when my developmentally disabled client was put in the hospital in 2006. I went and visited him, because it was the right thing to do. But it was all just to heavy for me and I couldn’t go back. Even though he needed visitors. Even though he needed  an ambassador at his side making sure he got the right care. Even though he needed a friend.
But I just couldn’t do it.
I chalked it up at the time to his being belligerent and scared. I told myself I wasn’t physically strong enough to actually help.

I know different now.

A friend of mine has cancer. A friend of mine is dying. A friend of mine needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. A friend of mine needs a good friend.

But I just can’t do it.

As I write this, I cry. I feel ashamed. I feel guilty and I feel angry.

I received an email from her two days ago and I still have yet to respond to her. I still have yet to tell her that I miss her, that I love her and that I think about her everyday. I still can’t bring myself to be a good friend.
I can deal with a friend being sad about a family member or being sad about the loss of another friend; like my Kimmy. I can deal with that. I can be a shoulder and I can be that ear. I can deal with reading sad blog posts about loss and about grief. But I just can’t deal with this. I pray to God that this doesn’t make me a bad person. I pray to God that he understands my limitations. I pray to God that someday I will be strong enough to deal with things that are heavy.

And I pray to God that my friend understands.  

“Confessions Friday” – Maribel Reyes from Stroller Adventures in So Cal

Today’s “Confession Friday” comes from Maribel Reyes of Stroller Adventures in So Cal, a fun blog about where to go and what to do in San Diego; she also posts really yummy recipes. I’ve had the pleasure of working with Maribel at DayTrippingMom for several months now, she is our San Diego Head Contributor. Here is her confession: “I’m not my priority”…can’t we all relate?

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I am not my priority.

As a mother of two very active kids, I am always caring for them and leaving myself for last. Everyday I drive them to and from school, prepare their meals, do everyone’s laundry, shopping and listen to their music. I don’t mind…I really don’t. I like caring for them. It was my choice 6 years ago last September when I left corporate America to be their caregiver.

I am blessed that I am able to do this and that my husband supports me 100% in my decision.  I am very grateful to do this and I sacrifice a lot for it, but in the end it’s about watching my kids grow and evolve as well as guide them when they need me and it is fulfilling to me.
However, I rarely take care of myself.
My health is always in the back-burner.
I am always third in line when I should be first.

As my wise Aunt once told me: “When you are in a plane what do the flight attendants tell you?
‘To place the oxygen mask on you first and then on the kids and elderly or those who need help so that you may be able to do so”
This has been in my mind for the past couple of months.

Let me put this into perspective- in 2010 I had a terrible sinus infection; actually, it was the worst my doctor had seen!  He said: “Mrs. Reyes I know mothers forget to care for themselves, but please remember if you are not healthy you can’t care for your family” and you know what? He was right! If I get sick the whole house falls apart! If I do not care for myself I am not 100% happy which means my kids will sense it and feel the same way. Not only that-but my daughter will grow up thinking that mom’s are always the last ones who need care.

I look around me and notice it is a cultural pattern. Most Hispanics are the same way, we are raised to care for others and forget we too need to care for ourselves.  So in 2012 I have decided that I will finally have my lab work done (it’s been waiting since 2010!) I will also have my follow-up with the Retinologist for that cyst they found on my left retina. I will care for myself and take the appropriate measures because I need to be 100% healthy to enjoy my family as much as I want and dreamed of.

Maribel Reyes is the mother of two adorable children. She blogs at Stroller Adventures in So Cal. You can also find her on twitter.

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“Confessions Friday” is a series that is all about getting that nagging guilt off your chest whether it be a doosey or something small for the purpose of relating to one another without judgement or criticism. We’re all moms and for Cheese sake we’re not perfect.

If you would like to confess something (and I mean who doesn’t?) Email me at: DesireeEaglin@aol.com

This is not a Christmas present. This my friends, is a dig.

This is not a Christmas present to my daughter, this my friends…is a dig to get to me.

To say that I’m not into the Princess culture would be an understatement. I do not have any intention of allowing my daughter to be raised surrounded by Princesses, Disney or not. I do not find it healthy for young girls to idolize helpless, sometimes brainless characters. I will not allow my daughter to be a victim that needs help from a man or anyone else. (However, I do like the movie “Tangled” but that’s another story). I mean no offense to you, I do not judge you for your decisions regarding your daughter. These are my opinions and they are intended for my children.

I do not mind tea sets, I do not mind dress up, I do not mind the color pink or purple.
However, I DO mind crowns, I DO mind tiaras, I DO mind feather boas, I DO mind fluffy dresses. I DO MIND PRINCESSES.

My husbands mother bought this car for my daughter for Christmas. Everyone I associate with knows that I do not like princess crap. I have made it very clear. My husband laughed when our daughter opened it and nudged me in the ribs. I heard a “that’s the only one the store had”. Bullshit I say.
But, of course my daughter loves it. She loves hiding her crackers in the seat and pressing the buttons to play princess music. She loves riding it around and laughing. I will not deny her that happiness, I am not heartless.

But I will keep that damn piece of crap outside under the surface of the sun to fade and under the elements to deteriorate quickly, I am not dumb.