The Kid Dictionary – A Book Review and Giveaway!

One of the absolute best things about being a parent is being witness to some of the darndest things kids say and do. It’s like kids were specially programmed from God to be funny on purpose to make our jobs as moms less stressful and more fun. Their innocent, unbiased view of the world and the way things work is just honestly so much fun to experience with them. Thankfully, there isn’t a day that goes by that my kid doesn’t say or do something completely off the wall that manages to always keep me on my toes and laughing. From the funny way he pronounces words (Disgusting=Shishgushing) to the way he brushes his teeth (it’s a sight only a mother could love).

Thanks to Eric Ruhalter (well, really to Eric’s 3 kids), and his new book “The Kid Dictionary” is a handy guide of useful terms for the everyday weirdnesses that children do. Well, not to forget the completely frustrating and hair pulling things that kids do too, those special circumstances require a funny word as well, if only to help us moms stop crying. This book is not for kids or written by kids, this book is for us adults to get a chuckle out of raising and being around children. For example:
“Toyphoon” (noun) Kids routine play activities that leave the playroom looking like it was decimated by a hurricane.
or my favorite:
“Nutler” (noun) A clumsy mobile toddler whose head is about the height of the average adult male crotch.

To find out more and to purchase a copy of THE KID DICTIONARY: Hilarious Words to Describe The Indescribable Things Kids Do Please Log On Here. 

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It’s GIVEAWAY TIME!

THE KID DICTIONARY: Hilarious Words To Describe The Indescribable Things Kids Do can be yours today! Thanks to the awesome folks at The Kid Dictionary you my fabulous readers have the opportunity to win your very own copy of the book! To enter, please leave a comment below of the funniest thing your kid has said (from the top of your head of course).

*Giveaway open to U.S. residents only please. One winner will be chosen at random using random.org on  5-4-2012 at 12:00pm PT. Winner will be notified via email. Good luck everyone and thank you so much for entering!

This is not a sponsored post, a book was provided to facilitate the review. All opinions are my own.

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UPDATE:
Congratulations to: Celeste Curtis whom has won her very own copy of The Kid Dictionary with this comment:
 We were trying to teach 2 year old Jamie how to say her name so we broke it down.
Daddy: Say “Jay”.
Jamie: Jay.
Daddy: Say “Me”.
Jamie: You.
I don’t know how she ever learned to say it! Lol!

Thank you all for entering!

From the Archives – “It all comes out smooth in the end”

Originally posted on Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest on May 19, 2009. 

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You know, before you have kids nobody tells you the truth about being a mom. And by the “truth” I mean the amount of sh*t you have to deal with. R E A L shit.

Take for example my kid. He crapped in the backyard last week. IN THE BACKYARD. Why? Who knows. Well, the only one that really knows is him. But he’s not telling.

And don’t get me started on poopie diapers. I am so tired of changing poopie diapers. Who invented diapers? Sure, it’s convenient to not have sh*t in your backyard, but holy damn. Sh*tty diapers are the worst. Just take my word for it (if you’re not a mom). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve considered taking my kid to a gastrointestinalgynocolonist to examine his poop, cause man, this sh*t can’t be normal.

My kid came in the house this morning covered in dog shit. COVERED. IN. DOG. SH*T. I was so grossed out and he thought it was sooooo funny. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like a total amateur as I was sumo gripping his tiny little arm with one hand and ripping off his poo clothes with the other hand all while trying to cover my nose with my shoulder and not letting his grubby little shit hands touch anything.

I can honestly say that there is always some sort of poo particles on me at all times. Between the dog and the kid and the cats I am one big fat walking poo germ. It’s gross and I’m tired of sh*t.

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Reading this almost exactly 3 years later is funny to me. With a daughter who is messier and sh*ittier than her older brother ever was and another baby on the way, this post is almost cute…in a “aw, she didn’t know what she had comin’ kind of way”. HA! 

Lets mock represent ourselves

There are a few occasions in life when you have to become a mock representation of the best of who you are, what you’re about, where you’re from and whom your family is. These occasions are usually ritual based, stuffy, require uncomfortable clothing and take lots of preparation. These special occasions I’m talking about are life stage transformations like:
Graduations
Weddings
Funerals

Family, friends and even worse-friends of family travel from all around to join in the ritual. These people are usually cheek pinchers, ass grabbers and heavy drinkers. Well, in my experience anyway.

There is nothing worse on this planet to me rather than having to attend one of these ritualistic functions (ok, well almost nothing worse). I hate having to dress up and act nicey nice and happiddy happy. I hate being in situations in where people you see regularly act a fool are suddenly transformed into the best versions of themselves with combed hair and clean clothes.  Isn’t it all so silly? We’re all standing there staring at each other, wearing uncomfortable shoes that pinch our toes, too much makeup and smiling at each other while making small talk and attempted to mask the fact that we have to fart?
Don’t get me wrong, these are special, eventful, meaningful times for the people in the ceremonies. Just not for the rest of us, you know…the people forced to attend.

All of a sudden I’m no longer just Desiree at these kinds of things, you know the sometimes forgetful, sloppy, sarcastic, bitchy girl that likes to walk around the house naked-I’m Desiree Eaglin, Mr. Eaglin’s wife, my son and daughters mother, my brother sister, my mothers daughter, the Eaglin Family daughter/niece/cousin/some family member in law in whereby I’m expected to represent the entire Eaglin family in general, Freelance writer representative, Photographer representative, city of Corona representative, Inland Empire representative, Southern California representative and on and on and on.
I find it stressful. Obviously.

Sometimes, we’re required to represent ourselves in situations that are less ritualistic but still highly regarded as “being important” because they involve our kids such as:
Back to School and Teacher Conference nights
Doctors visits
School plays and performances

Come on moms, you know you can relate to this one. You would never be caught dead with your kids looking like rag a muffins at the doctors office right? Where you secretly think you’re being judged as a mom by the professional that sees kids all day long?
I pick out the cleanest, best clothes I can find in my kids closets, brush their teeth 5,000 times and plaster their hair to their heads just so it will appear to the doctor that my kids are well taken care of. Sheesh, if they only really knew…

That is the irony of it all.

All of a sudden, our kids are representing us as parents and we’re shoving them in uncomfortable clothes and combing their hair to force them into becoming a mock representation of themselves.

From the Archives – “Why my mommy sucks: by The Kid”

Originally posted on Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest on May 21, 2009. Sarcastic Boy was just about 2 1/2 years old. Enjoy! 

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My mommy was trying to take a picture of the gigantic strawberry:

But I wanted it:

But she wouldn’t give it to me!: I got sad:

But I didn’t give up trying!:

 

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If that’s not historic proof of my sick and natural twisted nature to tease my kids, then I don’t know what is…lol

Wordless Wednesday – “I’m just not in to it”

Yeah it was noon and they were still wearing jammies.

Every now and then I get bored with food. So I pull out the good ol’ cookbooks and try something new. Which is a big deal around here because my husband is the pickiest of picky people eaters (but no, he’s not purple). I’ve tried my best to make sure my kids would never ever, never ever ever ever ever EVER be nearly as picky as he is. Feeding that man is a chore. I would never do that to my future son and daughter in laws. So one day last week I pulled out a kids “cooking fun” cookbook, perhaps I was inspired by Country Crock’s Clare Crespo recipes and I decided to try this. I was quite excited about it. I thought they would love it.
Nope.
It didn’t go over very well. Besides the look of pure disgust on their faces they refused to eat it. My son claimed the noodles inside the hot dog weren’t cooked. My daughter threw a fit and I ended up making chicken nuggets instead.
Oh well.

A front door surprise

Last week we found a very special surprise on our front door. It was the kind of surprise you don’t see everyday. It was the kind of surprise that makes you scratch your head and make you wonder what in the world that little birdie was thinking.
The end of last week, I was finally getting around to taking down our Easter decorations when I noticed something very interesting tucked inside of my front door wreath:

This little bird has made herself Welcome!

A birds nest…with little bird eggs!  
At first, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought there was no way the nest or the eggs nestled inside could be real. So I took the nest off, stood there gazing dumbfoundingly at it for several minutes, touched the eggs and then after closer inspection I put the nest back in the wreath. What aspect made me realize the nest was real? The real fluff and feathers tucked inside the strands. I’m not sure what kind of bird eggs these are. We are in “swallow season” could these be swallows?


The nest is perfectly made with tight woven strands. And it’s surprisingly heavy!
I immediately felt bad for touching the eggs, feeling as though I have hereby doomed the eggs to an incomplete life because of my human finger stench. Don’t mom birds deny human stench eggs?  Well, apparently this mommy bird isn’t very bright (you know besides making a nest on someones front door) because she’s coming back everyday. We don’t use the front door often, but every time I do she flies away!
Stay tuned for front door nest birdie updates!

Mountain High Yoghurt is all natural baby!

Thank you all for following along on my Mountain High Yoghurt journey. This is week #3 of the program and I would like to talk about what I love the most about Mountain High Yoghurt!
In 2007 as a first time mom I was obsessed with my son’s weight. I had a lot of anxiety and stress over the fact that (I thought) he was underweight and not getting enough healthy calories. So when my son was old enough for cow’s milk products I scoured the dairy product aisle looking for a healthy, all natural yogurt to give him because I knew that dairy products are a great way to add nutrition and healthy calories. My first choice to give my son was Mountain High Original Plain Yoghurt. I would mix the plain yogurt with fruit purees and he had it every morning for breakfast. I felt good about giving him Mountain High Yoghurt because: Mountain High Yoghurt is all natural and nutritious.  Their yogurt is made with all natural ingredients from cows that are never treated with growth hormones or antibiotics. And what’s better than that to give to your children? We have been avid Mountain High Yoghurt lovers since 2007!
Do you know what else is great about Mountain High Yoghurt? It’s affordable. Affordable healthy nutrition wins the race for me every time. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be one of those moms that can afford the expensive brands from the expensive markets and walk around with my head held superior high about my nutritional standards for my children but truth be told I’m a stay at home mom on a very limited budget. I purchase the best products I can that are affordable and healthy. Which, lets agree that what is affordable isn’t always the healthiest. With products like Mountain High Yoghurt on the market that are just as healthy, just as nutritious and just as tasty and good as those expensive brands there is no need to spend more! I am a firm believer that healthy nutrition should be accessible to everyone. Yeay for Mountain High Yoghurt for doing just that!

For more information about Mountain High Yoghurt you can log on here.

 

I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting  for Mountain High Yoghurt. I received a gift card to purchase yogurt, a product kit, and a promotional item to thank me for participating.” All opinions are my own.

Veggie Recipe fun with Country Crock! #veggieworld #spon

This post is sponsored by Country Crock. I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective, and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Thankfully, I am the mother of two kids that absolutely adore vegetables. No, seriously I am! My kids will pass up any sort of meat for a platter full of steamed broccoli any day. To me, parenting and more specifically feeding young children is all about expectations. If you expect your toddler to only nosh on certain “kid friendly” foods then they will. Maybe it’s that theory or maybe I’ve just been blessed with somewhat abnormal children, but there isn’t a vegetable my children will pass up at the dinner table.
What do I serve their vegetables with you ask? Well, Country Crock Original spread of course! I love that Country Crock spread is a healthy alternative to butter. Country Crock has 70% less saturated fat than butter and 30% fewer calories! My kids love their vegetables with a little dabble of Country Crock on top.
Country Crock is a family orientated company that is striving to bring the family together over healthy and nutritious meals. They have launched an amazing website that is  full of really great ideas for moms to serve vegetables that will fly off the plate because they taste so good with Country Crock. You can go and check it out for yourself here.
The amazing folks at Country Crock have even created a free online cookbook titled The Clare Crespo Cookbook that is whimsical and fun example of how to serve vegetables that kids will love. Clare Crespo believes that nutrition can spark the imagination and be delicious at the same time. There are tons of really cute recipes to have fun with vegetables with where the vegetables are not hidden-they are the center attraction. Why not serve up dinner tonight with a potato baseball or bowl full of peas and thank you?  I did and my kids looooved it! So much in fact, that my food photo shoot was cut short because my daughter wanted to eat my veggie props!

Here I was trying to get a picture of the Clare Crespo recipe for “Peas and Thank You” which I think is totally adorable and such a fun way to serve heart-shaped carrots:

Copyright: Desiree Eaglin

That was only the 2nd shot I was able to take…And I was spotted:

Copyright: Desiree Eaglin

You can't stage this kind of cheesiness. Copyright: Desiree Eaglin

I think it’s safe to say that you can take my word on the fact that my kids love their vegetables! Ha!

We are a huge baseball loving family. Our weekends are full of baseball games, parties and practices, so of course I had to give the “Out of the Park Baseball” a go. It’s mashed potatoes and red peppers! Such a cute idea! Perfecting the red pepper laces were quite a chore however, but I am so happy with how it came out:

"Out of the park baseball" Copyright: Desiree Eaglin

Copyright: Desiree Eaglin

I hope this post and the Clare Crespo Cookbook have inspired you to serve up some of your very own whimsical and fun veggie recipes!

Are you looking for quick and simple tips and recipes to make serving veggies more fun? Download the free Clare Crespo Cookbook here for fun and whimsical recipes your family is sure to love!

The Nuclear Cowboyz are heading this way!

Don’t miss your opportunity to catch the fun at this weekend’s Nuclear Cowboyz show at the Ontario Citizen’s Business Bank Arena!

The only theatrical, high-octane fueled, death defying, freestyle motocross show will be in Ontario on Friday April 13th, Saturday April 14th and Sunday April 15th only.

Here’s a coupon code too!

Tickets are now on sale for the fantastic Nuclear Cowboyz 2012 live-action-packed tour!
Advance Purchase Ticket Prices:
Kids ages 2-12 years old: $20
Adults: $40
VIP Fallout Zone: $125
*Prices will be higher at the door
You can purchase advance tickets now at the Citizens Business Bank Arena Box Office
by logging on here
or by logging on to Ticketmaster.com
Or by calling: 800) 745-3000

For more information about the Nuclear Cowboyz you can log on here

This is not a sponsored post, all opinions are my own. I will be attending a Nuclear Cowboyz show at the Ontario Citizens Business Bank Arena with complimentary tickets-look for me screaming and jumping for joy. 

The Dog’s Tongue

This is a post in honor of my dog’s tongue.
No it is. Really.

My dog’s tongue is everywhere and in everything and on everything all at once.
It’s on my face, my armpits, the kids faces, the kids armpits, the floor, the table, the couch, the toilet, the highchair, my shoes and on the cat all at once.
If there is food to be found-the tongue will find it.
If there is anything that smells of anything-the tongue will find it. Even if it’s not meant to be eaten…or licked.
My house is covered in dog saliva.
Lovely, clean, antibacterial dog saliva.