Have you ever been at the park, surrounded by other mommies and their children only to feel absolutely and totally alone? I have, on many occasions, most recently just this very morning.
Now, I’m not an insecure person and I’m totally fine with going to the park without other mommy friends to keep me company. I’m perfectly content to sit on the sidelines alone and watch as my daughter plays. I am not however, ok with feeling isolated.
When we first moved to Corona in 2009 my son was just 2 years old. We were transplants from Orange County and we didn’t know anyone out here. He and I desperately needed friends. I would drive in circles past the parks in our community looking for signs of other life playing at the playgrounds. We would relentlessly drive until we happened upon a park that children were playing at.
I scoured the internet looking for local meetups and playgroups until one day I found a local MOMSclub. We joined the MOMSClub on our first meeting and ever since then, we have had a plethora of friends. That MOMSClub disbanded and I took it over as a playgroup in March of 2010. I’ve been organizing a very large playgroup successfully for over 2 years. Now, it is safe to say that we are never alone. We are never in need of playmates. We never feel isolated.
Well, except for today.
Today, no one was available to meet my daughter and I at a local playground while my son was at school. Today, I happened to not have any errands and today, I happened to not have any writing deadlines. My daughter was in need of some play and so we went to the park on our own without plans of meeting friends there.
We had been at the playground for about a half hour when a wave of snobby mommies showed up with their expensive strollers and designer diaper bags and sunglasses.
All of a sudden I felt isolated at the playground.
I was literally surrounded by mommies but no one would look at me. No one would talk to me. No one acknowledged that I was there.
I was invisible.
Which is fine. I’m cool. I don’t necessarily need more friends. I realized that this feeling was probably the reason why I always see other mommies at the store or the library but I hardly ever see other mommies alone at the playground. No one likes feeling isolated. It’s easier to keep busy while shopping.
As I was sitting there watching my daughter play I had an epiphany. How many times have I been to the park with our playgroup and there was another mommy there and no one acknowledged her? Not because we’re snobby mommies but because we’re too busy socializing with each other? What if that mommy felt isolated?
I started feeling guilty.
I’ve decided that no matter where I am I will always be on the lookout for fellow non-snobby mommies to make friends with. Even if I am there with 50 of my closest friends.
Everyone deserves to be seen.
Everyone deserves to have non-snobby mommy friends.