The Man Cold

My friend Brigitta from Brighter Schemata  posted this video on my facebook wall over the weekend after I announced that my husband was sick and apparently going to die of the influenza virus:

Which gave me some relief and made me laugh at an otherwise reallysuperfagileistic obnoxious as hell situation.
My husband stayed home from work on Friday because he was so sick. That was the first time in over 13 years that I have known him that he had stayed home from work because of being sick. He’s one of those die hard worker bees. So, sure, he was sick. I get it.
It took all I had to not laugh in his face after he moaned and groaned and said he was dying. It took all that I had to not scream after he emailed me his food requests. It took all that I had to not shove the toast I had made him down his throat when he refused to eat it because (and I do quote) “I didn’t make it right”.
That’s right folks, apparently I don’t know how to make toast. How do my kids survive?!?
I quarantined  him to our bedroom so he could sleep and get some peace and quiet and I took the kids to the park and took over completely. (Which, honestly as a stay at home mom isn’t that hard to do. I could probably go on like that for about 3 months of no help before anyone realized that Dad wasn’t even there). He medicated himself with a mixture of Vicodin and heavy Advil left over from my previous c-section. I’m surprised he’s still alive.
So we got through it, he woke up a little better on Saturday and I woke up sick on Saturday with the Flu.
To sum it up, I’ll just put it like this: Our paths to getting better were much different. I had to survive on tylenol, water, the kids using me as a trampoline (because mommy isn’t allowed to be alone), lots of dirty looks from the husband as he changed poopy diapers, well, a lot of complaining and dirty looks in general and taking lots of cool baths because no one would let me knock myself out with painkillers. Damn pregnancy. No alcohol and no painkillers? Ugh.
But we survived. And I’ve got this great new resentment for The Man Cold.
What is your favorite story of being sick? Is it similar to mine?


One response

  1. With all due respect, men are so good at being “little kids” and “whiny” when they get sick. My husband {hope he doesn’t read this} complains and whines when he can’t breathe through his nose! I breathe through my mouth 24/7 I mean get over it… 😉 anyway, hope you are all better soon. Sending better health vibes your way. I know how it is to get sick when you’re pregnant it is the worst! I got a bad cold with my second pregnancy and yes my daughter used me also as a trampoline! and oh yes, husby HAD to work… :S

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