What not to do: How to make your kids easy targets

Being a parent is scary. Not only are you responsible for the well being and production of another human being but you’re also responsible for their safety. Which, lets admit in this day and age is a daunting task. There are so many creepos and pedophiles out there that mask themselves as sheep in wolves clothing that we as parents really need to be on guard about whom we allow our children to be in contact and association with. Below is a list that I have compiled of 5 ways children can be easy targets.

“come here little Zack, I have a lollipop for you in my van”

1. Anything that your child wears or carries that is personalized with their name on it.
This screams “approach me and pretend you know me personally so that you may shove me into your van”

“Hey Kristi! Your mom Loni said you could check out the inside of my van”

2. Stick figure family decals with every family members name.
This makes predators able to identify who is who and it makes your car easily identifiable.

String bikinis for little girls is just gross.

3. Dressing your daughter like a hoochie momma.
Modesty is the best policy folks.

4. Not paying attention to where your kids are when you’re out shopping.
I know it’s hard, because finding the cheapest shampoo is more important, but there are creepo’s out there ready to prey on your frugalness.

5. Social Media blasting of your child’s pictures, names, personality and other likelinesses.
I know, I’m guilty of this one too. But at least I don’t announce their names, you’d have to dig them up and then I’d know you were a stalker.



Now it’s your turn. What say you Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest readers? What would you add to this list?


11 responses

  1. For several safety reasons, I take my kiddo out of the cart and buckle him into his car seat BEFORE I put the groceries in the car. I saw a mom with her head in the trunk when a few teens walked by and, although at a distance, pretended to grab the cart with her kid and push it away laughing. Now imagine they weren’t pretending…

  2. Love this and so need to share!!! My friend and I were just talking about how we could install lojack into our Toddlers until they reach about 18 then want to get rid of them…

  3. I had a secret whistle with my kids, if the person telling them I wanted them didn’t know the whistle they were not to go with them

  4. I came across this as I was writing my own scathing reproach of those insidious stick figure family stickers. Great article with seriously common-sense advice in a world where people are increasingly stupid. I call those stickers Pedophile Bait.

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