My son graduated from preschool a few weeks ago. Which it is safe to say that I have strong feelings of loss when I think about him growing up. But, that’s a part of parenting I suppose, the ebbs and waves of letting go. Push them to learn and grow and then mourn the baby they’ve grown to leave behind.
He graduated from preschool exactly 2 weeks after the baby was born. Fortunately, I was pretty exhausted and my mind was still stuck in babyzombieland (which, lets be honest-it still is). So I wasn’t so ‘in the moment’ that I was mourning and crying that lost chubby baby during the ceremony. I focused on taking lots of still pictures and video taping him singing songs.
He was adorbs. There were several songs with guitar notes and he rocked out an air guitar. He made my husband and I proud.
I was doing good through the ceremony. I was happy and I was proud and I was entertained.
Then this shit happened.
A 15 minute video collage of the kids. On the playground, in the classrooms, with their friends all the while having fun. Kids laughing and smiling and being happy. My son playing with kids I had never even met, being happy. His bright blue eyes shining and his beautiful face beaming. That beautiful face that was chubby and small not that long ago.
Which all that gushy poop was hard enough to bear. Then they played this crap from beginning to end:
And I wanted to die.
It took all I had to not lose my sh*t and melt into the floor.